I must admit, that seeing that anyone has read the ebook version of Dragon Prophecy is exciting. But to see on fictionwise that the ratings lean to the “poor” end of the spectrum is not unexpected, although it is disappointing. I always felt that the story could have been stronger with better editing. But the editor assigned by the publisher didn’t edit the story the way he should have. He was too “nice” and afraid to really step up and address the real issues.
I never did like the first half of the story but couldn’t figure out what to do to make it better. Now I know–hack it off. Had I a choice now, I would have done exactly that. But, alas, it’s too late since the book is out. I could cancel it, but why? I’m sorry it wasn’t satisfying to those who rated it poorly, but I must say the story beyond it is far better. That first book was all set up of what was to come. It should be considered almost as backstory.
It’s done. Dragon Prophecy is out but the others will not be from the same publisher. You’ve probably noticed that all the books except DP have been taken off my website. When I find a new publisher for the rest of the series, I’ll be sure to post about it. For now, I’m back to the query/submission queue. It’s a lottery I hate playing, but hopefully, someone will see the value in the story and pick up the rest of the series.
Actually, the rest of the series could stand alone well without Dragon Prophecy. DP introduces all the characters and their backgrounds and brings things together. The next part picks up where that leaves off, and it’s easy to jump into the action. In fact, it almost works better, since by not having info dumps or slow scenes to show things, the action is faster paced and more exciting. It also leaves lots of questions to be answered about how one character relates to another and what happened to get them where they are. (I’ve been editing.)
Now, the hard part is writing that darned summary called a synopsis. With 300,000 words of manuscript total, condensing that down with more than two dozen characters is quite a chore. I know I can do it, but it will take some time to get it right.
In the meantime, I’m finishing up an editing pass on the entire three books worth of manuscript. It’s been interesting, but I’m so ready to move on to something new that it’s almost sickening. I love the dragon series. Don’t get me wrong. But I can only digest something so much before that cud is over-metastisized. I need something fresh and exciting. This isn’t exciting and new anymore. I’ve worked on it for almost eight years, give or take a year, even around other writing projects, and I want it done.
Moving on will be exciting again.
Whoever said life was fun?
I’m sure someone did, but for most of us, it’s work. Work for someone else, work for ourselves, work for our families…Work, work, work! Our dreams take work too.
But having fun working. Now, that’s when life is fun. I enjoy writing, although it is work. I enjoy working with horses, but that’s work. I would much rather muck stalls and clean pens than clean my house. Cleaning house is no fun. Cleaning horses and their waste is time spent with horses. Any time I can be with my horse is relaxation. It’s pleasant work. In fact, it’s not work at all. It’s fun. Sure, training him is work, but it’s a joy.
Writing is like that for me. But I don’t like the business side of it or the public side. I just want to write. And I hope you all enjoy the results. Unfortunately, I have to deal with the business side–submitting (rejections and acceptance, and everything that goes with it)–and the public side. I don’t mind sharing parts of my life, but I’m not the kind of person who’s comfortable in crowds or taking center stage. Sure, I like to hear praise and hate criticism–who doesn’t? Perhaps that’s one of the factors contributing to why I like horses so much. They’re so giving and beautiful, and forming a connection with a special horse brings a peace to the soul that nothing else can.
I know I’m rambling. I have thoughts in my head with some connections to each other and nothing at all. I’m in a mood. I go through those. After all I’m only human.
For a while, I was riding high on good times. That doesn’t last. Things change. Eventually what goes up must come down. I’m going into one of those slumps. Kinda like the economy, which moves in cycles, whether weeks, months, or years. It’s the same in my personal life. I feel uninspired and down and right now wish that something would work. That something I’ve submitted would catch an editor’s or agent’s eyes. I’m looking for that acceptance, that validation that all the work is worthwhile. For me, that keeps the writing fun. My horse accepts me all the time and accomplishing even small steps towards my training goals fulfills me. With writing, it’s the acceptance that is fulfilling. It’s personal achievement, and it’s important to each of us.
That’s where I am. I need that. I feel like my writing career is stalling before it’s started. Maybe there will never be a career. Sometimes, like now, I feel like I’ll never “get it”. I’m sick of writing forums and I’m jealous of writers who get it in one. When is it time to give up?
Writers write first for themselves, then for others. I need to write, always have, just as I need to ride horse. It’s a way of escaping from the real world. Will I ever give it up? I don’t know. For now, I’ll get past this slump and continue, at least until I run out of ideas I like. To hell with what editors and agents want. I know what I want. I can only hope that they like it too. I’d feel better.
(X-posted from livejournal)
Occasionally, we all tend to sink to this point I’m at now. I don’t want to move on with any of my WIPs and don’t have any ideas that really excite me. But I must write something. It’s frustrating! I’m so depressed. It’s the blues though, not like real depression.
I’ve got a bit of rejectionitis going on too. I hate getting rejections, but that’s all I’ve had. I need something positive. Submitting is such a gamble. I hate gambling.
Then there’s the other side of submitting–where to submit too. My WOTF honorable mention novelette is 17K, too long for most short fiction markets and too short for novel markets. Where can I submit A Turn of Curses?! My choices are so limited it sickens me. I’ve considered putting that one up as a free PDF download, but I wonder if anyone would be interested. Besides, I’d love to actually get paid for my writing. Wouldn’t we all?
And last, I’m not too ambitious about the promotion of Dragon Prophecy because I wish I had rewritten the first couple hundred pages. Does that happen to other writers? The rest of the series is awesome! I love it! It’s that first volume that I’m not crazy about, because in going back, I see where it really could be stronger and how much I’ve improved even since the editing on it (which wasn’t as thorough as I would have liked).
See? I’m just in a deep funk right now–criticizing myself. I need a little reward to make writing fun again. I need to match a few lottery numbers and get something instead of totally missing all the time. I know my strong points and I know I can write interesting stories, but I think I just write the wrong stuff for what publishers actually want, or at least big publishers. I don’t want to always be published with micropresses. I want to sell to the bigger publishers, the ones who actually get books on bookstore shelves. I know I’m good enough for the micropresses, as my contracts with MP shows; but I want to be better.
The 4-H motto is “To make the best better.” I was a 4-Her for ten years. That motto has always stuck, along with some advice someone once gave about judging shows (I’ve been a 4-H horse show judge for long time but pretty much gave it up with the birth of second daughter). They said “Don’t ever tell a kid they did their best, because it limits them to improving. Tell them they’ll do better next time with more practice.” I sincerely believe that. When we tell ourselves we tried our best, unconsciously we’re limiting ourselves to improvement. It seems contradictory to the 4-H motto, but with the word “better” at the end, I tend to not really consider an effort my best, but to believe I can always do better.
Right now, I’m in a funk of discouragement from even trying though. But writing that made me feel better.